Yes hello this is Mrs Santa Claus, awfully sorry about the noise but I’m currently at a basketball game, you have to multitask at this time of year. I can imagine I look like a real twat with my Bluetooth, but honest to god, when you’re managing 1000 elves and trying to get Santa motivated for his one and only job for a year, it’s a must.
After seeing quite a few monstrosities in Western Australia, I’m contemplating changing Canadian Fouls to Colonial Fouls.
The West-end hit ‘Wicked’ had to be cancelled this evening; the theatre company cited that the wicked witch was missing. Latest reports suggest she has made for the Atlantic and could have made it as far as Toronto.
Nothing like a grown ginger snoozing in his ginger hair and ankle socks on a Sunday afternoon in Starbucks. So cute!!!! I can’t handle it. Wanna squish his little cheeks!!
According to the Urban Dictionary:
Gypsy’s Curse: Male Impotence; failure to achieve an erection. Classically blamed on a failure to buy pegs or lucky heather many years ago.
“Sorry love, I’ve got the gypsy’s curse. It’s like trying to get toothpaste back in the tube”
Meatloaf was spotted on King Street earlier today. He’s part way to converting to Amish.
It’s not too late Meatloaf! Don’t do it! Step away from the long skirt. We love your rock ‘n’ roll!!
This person’s outfit was successfully diagnosed with late stage split personality disorder and is currently undergoing aggressive treatment #didyougetdressedinthedark?